MoviesWith Audrey Tautou and Shirley MacLaine both about to play Coco Chanel in movies and Jude Law signed up to play Halston, Hadley Freeman looks at how fashion designers have been played in filmsIn pictures: the designers
102 Dalmatians
Who's the designer? Jean-Pierre Le Pelt (Gérard Depardieu), the fur-loving designer who is frequently covered with red paint by protesters. Whether that's outrage at his use of fur or horror at his Fred Flintstone-meets-Billy Ray Cyrus personal appearance is not clear.
Hmm, sounds familiar, reminds me of ... John Galliano on a bad day, with a dash of Jean Paul Gaultier.
What are the designs like? Either gigantic fur coats not seen since the passing of the Notorious BIG, or ballgowns apparently made with the EuroDisney market in mind.
Best prima donna quote? "Cruella De Vil! My inspiration, my idol, my show!"
What, in this movie, does being a fashion designer represent? Psychotic savagery and a threat to all that is decent, loving, good and furry.
Credibility as a designer? Not very high, though Depardieu's designer is slightly better than Ioan Gruffudd's strange homage to Lennie from Of Mice and Men.
The Devil Wears Prada
Who's the designer? James Holt (Daniel Sunjata), the very trendy young New York designer in whom magazine editors take a keen interest.
Hmm, sounds familiar, reminds me of ... Marc Jacobs.
What are the designs like? Marc is unlikely to feel complimented: ugly ballgowns with big 80s bows in the middle, beaten-up leather bags.
Best prima donna quote? "This season really began for me with a meditation between east and west."
What, in this movie, does being a fashion designer represent? Not so much designers but fashion as a whole is something that only really spoilt women like because they don't recognise the important things in life (namely, being at the beck and call of one's boyfriend or husband).
Credibility as a designer? Low - those clothes really are bad.
Zoolander
Who's the designer? Mugatu (Will Ferrell), the poodle-quiffed designer who, for reasons that are best described as tenuous, recruits male models to kill the prime minister of Malaysia.
Hmm, sounds familiar, reminds me of ... Now that would be libellous.
What are the designs like? We don't see much of his late work but he launched his career with the invention of the piano-key necktie.
Best prima donna quote? "I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favour and lose five pounds now!"
What, in this movie, does being a fashion designer represent? Murderous world power.
Credibility as a designer? As anyone who's seen Lagerfeld Confidential, the documentary about Karl Lagerfeld, knows, the reality is far stranger than the fiction.
The Incredibles
Who's the designer? Edna Mode, the sharply bobbed no-nonsense grande dame behind all the superheroes' costumes.
Hmm, sounds familiar, reminds me of ... Anna Wintour.
What are the designs like? What aren't they like? She can do bulletproof, she can do elasticated, she can do invisible, but there is one thing she won't do: "No capes!"
Best prima donna quote? "Milan, dahling, Milan, with the supermodels. Ha! Nothing super about them, puffy little stick insects who only think about themselves."
What, in this movie, does being a fashion designer represent? The highest pinnacle of human achievement. Without them the world would come to an end.
Credibility as a designer? With that hairstyle, we daren't voice any doubt.
Pret-a-Porter
Who are the designers? First off, there's Cort Romney (Richard E Grant), the queeny British designer with a strange kiss-curl hairdo and a fondness for Edwardian dress mixed with punk details. Then there's Cy Bianco (Forest Whitaker), the super-cool underground British designer who mixes streetwear and couture references in his very sexy clothes.
Hmm, they sound familiar, they remind me of ... Vivienne Westwood, sex change notwithstanding, and Alexander McQueen, respectively.
What are the designs like? In the case of Romney, go to any Westwood shop. Look at the clothes. There, you've got it - big tartan dresses and teetering spectator shoes. As he says, "Pregnant is not my silhouette this season, the bustle is at the back." As for Bianco's designs, they're gross. All those stretchy mini-dresses and weird cycling shorts are testament to the truth that nothing dates faster than desperately trendy clothes, particularly those from the most recent decade.
Best prima donna quotes? Romney: "Shoulders are very fresh again. And legs. My woman does not have to have legs but it's fabulous if she does." And Bianco? With that cod British accent, it's hard to understand anything he is saying.
What, in this movie, does being a fashion designer represent? Shallowness, superficiality but, you know, that's not a bad thing.
Credibility as a designer? For Romney, high in terms of clothes, low in terms of personal life - we're meant to believe this guy is married to a woman?! All that can be said of Bianco is that he probably does well in the denim market.
Sweet Home Alabama
Who's the designer? Melanie Carmichael (Reese Witherspoon), the hot young designer in New York with a fondness for off-the-shoulder dresses and anything that ends at a really unflattering length.
Hmm, sounds familiar, reminds me of ... Um, someone who works for a catalogue?
What are the designs like? Absolutely hideous. Of particular note is a one-shoulder black top with thick red ribbon piping along the top and bottom seams, tied in a bow in her armpit, for no obvious reason.
Best prima donna quote? "I don't 'make' clothes; I design them. There's a difference!"
What, in this movie, does being a fashion designer represent? Yankee shallowness and a loss of perspective on what's really important in life.
Credibility as a designer? Absolutely nil. In one scene she wears a denim jacket with jeans. Eww!
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