Jokes for Accountants ·

25 Feb 2024, 00:00

Flickr / Alex

Today is National Accounting Day, and it's the perfect time to celebrate the brave souls who balance our books, sort out our files, and lead the way through tax season.

To thank the pros who crunch the numbers so we don't have to, we polled accountants and auditors and scoured the web to round up 25 jokes that only accountants will love.

1. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.

2. What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.

3. It's accrual world.

4. It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?

5. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.

6. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

7. How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.

8. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.

9. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don’t understand.

10. Why did the accountant cross the road? Because she looked in the files and did what they did last year.

11. How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

12. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.

13. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.

14. Be audit you can be.

15. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.

16. What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A late night.

17. An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.

18. Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.

19. What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he's boring.

20. What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? Bob.

21. How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

22. There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don't tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]

23. What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humor.

24. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.

25. Four Laws of Accounting:

1. Trial balances don't.
2. Bank reconciliations never do.
3. Working capital does not.
4. Return on investments never will.

Looking for more accountant jokes? We found those that didn't come from friends and family at The Alternative Accountant, Crush The CPA Exam, Accounting Courses Online, Jokes4Us, and Pinterest.

Libby Kane, CFEI

Executive Editor, Personal Finance Insider

Libby Kane, CFEI, is the Executive Editor for Personal Finance Insider, Business Insider's personal finance section that incorporates affiliate and commerce partnerships into the news, insights, and advice about money Insider readers already know and love. She holds the Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI) certification issued by the National Financial Educators Council. Previously at Business Insider, she oversaw teams including Strategy, Careers, and Executive Life.Her team at Insider has tackled projects including:• Women of Means, a series about women taking control of their finances• Inside the Racial Wealth Gap, an exploration of the causes, effects, and potential solutions of the racial wealth gap in the US (finalist, Drum Award, "Editorial Campaign of the Year," 2021)• Strings Attached, a series of essays from people who have left insulated communities and how that journey affected their relationship with money• Master Your Money, a year-long guide for millennials on how to take control of their finances (first runner up, Drum Award, "Best Use of Social Media," 2022)• The Road to Home, a comprehensive guide to buying your first house (silver award winner, National Association of Real Estate Editors, "Best Multi-Platform Package or Series – Real Estate," 2022)Personal Finance Insider also rates, explains, and recommends financial products and services.Outside of personal finance, she's written about everything from why Chinese children are so good at math to the business of dogs to hard truths about adulthood.In September 2016, she helped launch Business Insider Netherlands in Amsterdam. She also spent three years as a member of the Insider Committee, a cross-team focus group working on making Business Insider an even better place to work.She's always interested in research, charts, and people: new and interesting research, compelling charts and other visuals, and people who are willing to share the details of their impressive financial accomplishments and strategies.Before joining the company in March 2014, she was the associate editor at LearnVest, covering personal and behavioral finance.If you have something to share, please reach out to lkane@insider.com. Read more Read less

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Jokes for Accountants

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